introspect

Random things of late.

1. I'm going to take over the Betty Crocker franchise here shortly.  Yep, I'm that good.  It's like I have found my inner cook or something.

2. I am now employed. God is so good to me. Last Wednesday I was telling Him that I felt like a lost little girl. And then two hours later someone called that I interviewed with about 2 months ago. I'm now a dental assistant at the office where Kristy is a hygenist.  HUGE learning curve but I really enjoy the job.  Its fun and working with the dentist I do different things all day long.  Today we extracted several teeth, set a crown, did some fillings, sealents, etc.  This is an entirely new career that I could use anywhere I end up in life.  And God gave it to me.  Just because He's good.

3. Mr. & Mrs. Smith. You can almost see the Pearly Gates reflected in their eyes. What special people. May I be as gracious, strong, sweet, wise and Christ-like when I near the end of my race... but I fear to ask for that because those qualities came through great adversity and many tears shed in their lives.

4. I love holding hands with little kids and old people.  There's an older couple I've been caretaking for lately, and she ALWAYS holds my hand.  I love that.  So sweet.
There are two messages communicated through those hands that reach for mine:
   1. I need you.
   2. I trust you.
That's all I want.


5. I've been confused and focused on something for a year and a half.  Lately the light has broken through dimly.  I think I know what I need to do.   "It shall be well."  I will learn the lesson.  I will recover.  And God is still good.  My pastor always says... "it's never too late to do right."  Sometimes its just hard to know exactly what RIGHT is.

6.  My brother and his wife are having a little girl!  I'm so anxious to meet her.  When Kristine was pregnant with the Little Turkey a couple years ago, I remember asking her how it is possible to love someone so much that I've never even met.  Someone that I have no guarantee that he will love me, he hadn't done anything for me, he will probably turn his back on me occasionally. But I love him HUGE, which began long before he knew I existed.  I believe I would die to protect him, even if he was being a stinker to me.  Wow. That must be how Christ loves us.

Maybe love is a decision, not a feeling.